Full Circle
[a true story, 7/29/19]
Two Decembers ago when we were visiting Marc & Michelle for the holidays Michelle suggested that the ladies go to a glass blowing studio to make ornaments. I’ve always loved glass blowing so I was really excited. Each of us had a designated staff person to help design and assemble our ornament; when it came time to blow the molten glass into a sphere my person said 'blow a wish into the ornament.' so I did. I was 8 weeks pregnant and we hadn’t told anyone yet…you can imagine what I wished for.
the next day we lost the pregnancy.
i took that ornament home and tucked it on a back shelf in my closet.
a few months later while Everest and I were playing hide and seek he found it. we opened the box together and unpacked the blue and white orb. he marveled at it. he wanted to hold it. to hug it. to play with it. to hang it. but he was ever so gentle with it. I told him there was a wish inside and maybe one day we would hang it in his room. he didn’t ask too many questions, just went along with what I said. we packed it up and put it back on the shelf in my closet.
every few months he’d ask me if we could look at the ornament. sometimes he’d wiggle outside my closet with a little smirk on his face and ask if he could hold it. so we did. I'd take it down from the shelf and he’d sit on the carpet and gently hold it like a baby.
finally this morning.
Eden rocking in her baby seat in my bathroom and Everest sitting on the floor mat next to her. I’m in the shower. Everest asks if he can get the ornament to show Eden.
[a true story, 7/29/19]
Two Decembers ago when we were visiting Marc & Michelle for the holidays Michelle suggested that the ladies go to a glass blowing studio to make ornaments. I’ve always loved glass blowing so I was really excited. Each of us had a designated staff person to help design and assemble our ornament; when it came time to blow the molten glass into a sphere my person said 'blow a wish into the ornament.' so I did. I was 8 weeks pregnant and we hadn’t told anyone yet…you can imagine what I wished for.
the next day we lost the pregnancy.
i took that ornament home and tucked it on a back shelf in my closet.
a few months later while Everest and I were playing hide and seek he found it. we opened the box together and unpacked the blue and white orb. he marveled at it. he wanted to hold it. to hug it. to play with it. to hang it. but he was ever so gentle with it. I told him there was a wish inside and maybe one day we would hang it in his room. he didn’t ask too many questions, just went along with what I said. we packed it up and put it back on the shelf in my closet.
every few months he’d ask me if we could look at the ornament. sometimes he’d wiggle outside my closet with a little smirk on his face and ask if he could hold it. so we did. I'd take it down from the shelf and he’d sit on the carpet and gently hold it like a baby.
finally this morning.
Eden rocking in her baby seat in my bathroom and Everest sitting on the floor mat next to her. I’m in the shower. Everest asks if he can get the ornament to show Eden.
“Eden, Eden, shhh, don’t cry, your big brother is here and I love you.Here is the ornament that mommy made that we can hang in our room.[in a sing-song voice] shh shh, I love you Eden, I love my whole family”“Everest, I can tell you what the wish in the ornament is now. do you want to know?”“Yeah!!”"I can tell you because it came true. [pause] I wished for this. for our family. for my Everest and my Eden.”“and your Daddy and your Oliver.”“Of course”“[Everest holding the ornament a little closer and showing it to Eden] this is the most beautiful thing in the world to me.do you want to know what my wish is?my wish for Eden is that she is lucky like me.[in a sing-song voice] shh shh, I love you Eden, I love my whole family”“I love you Everest”“I love you Mommy. I love you Eden.”
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